You're triggers are an invitation not the enemy
is it just me or is "trigger" a little cringy and a bit overused? Oh well, we gotta call it like it is.
Hear me out, I see a lot of women running around shaming themselves for having feelings. Disconnecting from themselves because they don't know how to handle their feelings or the triggers themselves. You feel stressed, so you mindlessly scroll vs. look at the cause of the stress. You have anxiety and you yell at your husband over every dumb thing vs. sharing your fears. You have so much shame regarding your body so you totally avoid dating rather than learning to heal and love your body.
I get it, I still go there sometimes.
For me it was always anxiety. In the past my anxiety was so high and it scared me. It also made me feel so much shame because I was living in a constant state of fear. My anxiety was the trigger and when I was triggered I acted out by arguing or trying to grasp onto control. This looked like random bitch fests with my husband, being irritable with family and taking on more responsibility because I needed to control everything even though I had no bandwidth for more. It would result in more anxiety. The truth was, instead of these triggered behaviors I needed to learn to be vulnerable or ask for help and support when I felt anxious.
It was not until I learned to look at the feelings behind the fight that I was able to start to see. It was a real ah-ha moment for me when I started viewing my feelings of fear as guides back to myself instead of an invitation to push harder.
In my marriage I started to speak my fears to my husband vs. fighting or bitching about something that didn't matter. Like let me attack you because of the dishes when the truth is I need a hug, classic Lyndsey move.
In my work I allowed my fears of not being good enough, overcompensating and shiny object syndrome to guide me to a place of deeper healing that now looks like confidence in my plan, boundaries with my time, a team to support me and no burn out!
My fears and triggers were the root cause of all of my "bad" behaviors, the arguments, the over working, the burn out, the anxiety and yelling about the dishes.
It wasn't until I stopped fearing my feelings that I started to really unravel my own crap. This created total freedom in my body.
Your triggers are good and you can leverage them to supercharge your growth.
What does this leverage look like in other women?
For Ashley it was taking her massive anxiety and worry about not being perfect in all of her rolls (mom, bread winner, wife) and using that to guide her to create clear boundaries with her mindset (and her mother), carve out pockets of time for herself and double down on healing her nervous system vs. obsessing about the scale. Of course she's dating her man more, calm and the scale is reflecting her emotional releases.
For Sarah this meant turning her fear of not being enough for her team and the belief that she always had to be "on" into strict work boundaries with sexy systems to support herself and her team. Shifting her mindset from a rush and lack space to a calm and con control vibe. Ultimately, she is now working less while making more, isn't relying on gummies to relax at night and having more fun in her life, hobbies and with her man.
For Adine learning from her triggers meant turning her scarcity mindset into an abundance state with clear money goals. She is trusting herself and her body vs. being at war with it. She is showing up with clear communication with her family. She left a relationship that was not what she really wanted. She is working out because it feels great vs. punishing herself. She has fun and knows how to connect to herself and what makes her happy. She literally messaged me that she feels like she is on vacation all the time now because her stress is so low. I mean!!!
Are you convinced yet that your triggers can serve a beautiful purpose?
They soo can and I so badly want you to fully embrace this idea so that you can have the freedom and peace of mind that my clients now have. Your triggers are asking you to change. They're not your enemy. Instead let’s get you leveraging those feelings for some sexy personal growth.
If you're ready for sexy personal growth and you want that ah-ha moment for yourself, I think it is time you look into working together with me. We can open the doors to so much in your life. I offer 1:1 coaching and mentorship packages as well as my signature small group coaching program, Beyond the Body.
x.o.lynsP.S. if you’re feeling a little bit like a hot mess - that’s good - i specialize in hot mess! Yes, you can have that juicy happy life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s make it happen! (just click here!)